Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
