Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
