She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
