Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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