Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
