omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
