never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
