had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
