my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize