I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
