i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
