I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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