OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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