Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize