I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
