i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
