I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Too much gin, very little bucket
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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