Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
