All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
