The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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