You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
