I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize