We're like a lot better than the average bears
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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