you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
