i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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