Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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