yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
