I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
