So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
