WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
