Having a random hookup so left but love u
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
