some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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