Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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