can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
