someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
