I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We need a shit load of segways right now
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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