i barfeds in our rink
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
