the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
being pregnant is like rehab
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
