Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
