At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
