i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
