Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
