You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
