why didn't you poke me back
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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