i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
