I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
