Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
