idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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