it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
