Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
