the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
