I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
