No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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