me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
