New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
