She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
