we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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