a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize