well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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