It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Randomize
