so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
