Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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